The Rose of Immortality
by Miss Manic Dysfunction
Summary: Marluxia is the rose on the hill, and I'm stuck in the thorns. I knew I would have that flower one day. I just never thought it would be like this. MarluxiaxVexen. Warning: Limes, language. More brutal angst, not emo but psycho.


The Rose of Immortality

Pairing: 4/11 for Buttons

Summary: Marluxia is the rose on the hill, and I'm stuck in the thorns. I knew I would have it one day. I just never thought it would be like this. MarluxiaxVexen

Other: Extremely vile language, limes, and much Axel and Larxene punting, with some snarks about Zexion in it. And Xemnas. And Marluxia. And Lexaeus. God, Vexen has problems in this...

I don't think this is what Buttons wanted, but I don't feel like writing a lemon/fluff right now. And I had fun writing this, even if it's terribly off-character.

--EDIT: Thanks to a review, I fixed the last line. Thank you very much. Memory betrayed me...--

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I know that when I go into that room, I won't see Marluxia again after that. It isn't a surprise to me. Whatever crazy bond we had previously was dissolved in the insanity of Oblivion. I guess White Rooms don't only work on Sora and his friends. Apparently, Marluxia seemed to forget everything we pretended to feel. And I can't blame him--I forgot, too. I've gone and joined the resistance against him. I guess you can't say I'm innocent. In the end, I guess we're all guilty of something. 

Look at me--I'm a mess. I haven't slept in days. I haven't eaten at all this week. I take caffeine pills every three seconds. I'm twitchier than a flea on crack, and if you so much as touch me, I fear my limbs will snap from tension. It's all Xemnas's fault, I say. If he had put me beneath Marluxia on the rank chart for Oblivion, I'd be fine. No, Xemnas is too stupid to think of the damage. He gave Marluxia control of all of us and the castle. Then again, Xemnas didn't know what a brat Marluxia really is. Marluxia is... Oh Lord, how can I really describe him?

He's the rose on top of the hill. You know about it, right? The one that grants immortality to anyone that picks it, right? That rose has oh so many thorns. They engulf the hill and grow taller than a full-grown man in some areas. Try as I may, I can never really get to the rose. I keep getting trapped on the thorns. I've been close to it, especially when we're in bed. I'm moaning his name while he touches me in the way that I like it, but I barely even touch a petal of that glorious flower. It's as if the real Marluxia is out of reach.

Oh, how afraid I am of the real Marluxia. I've seen his sugar-coated smile. I've got the soft side of his fantasies. He loves to lie to me. And I love to let him do so. _Just keep lying, Marly_, I say to him, _because I don't ever want you to stop._ Well, I guess I do want him to stop. For a few brief seconds, I want him to stop lying and give me the harsh side of his personality. When I think about it, I lust at the thought, but it also scares the shit out of me. I don't even want to think about it some days, and that's all I think about. The rose on the hill. And I'm stuck in the thorns. I knew deep down that I would have it one day. I just never thought it would be like this.

Zexion's plan had failed. Zexion would deny it and throw the blame upon my faulty Replica. That's how we are; we can't seem to put the blame on ourselves so we point it to each other. It's never Lexaeus's fault, even if it is. No, Zexion would rather blame me because everyone knows Lexaeus is fucking him. I hear them moan at night. Sometimes Zexion screams. It's not the faking that Marluxia and I do; Zexion remembers something. I think it might be love. Ienzo and Ealeus were always _too _close. We all knew Braig and Dilan were like brothers (in my knowledge, they've never done anything filthy with each other, though I know Xigbar has taken turns with Naminè and Larxene) and they accepted Xehanort within their group. Even was always on the outside. What I don't get, though, is why Ienzo sometimes admired Even and Zexion despises me. Maybe it wasn't admiration, really, but envy. It's a strange thought, but every now and then I think so.

I'm off-track. It just shows how fucked up I am at the moment. I can't even keep a straight train of thought. Anyway, Zexion's plan or my Replica--maybe both--had failed. Now I have to face the wrath of Axel and Larxene. If I had a heart, I would loathe them. Axel is nothing but a two-timing snot-faced rat and Larxene is the biggest, bitchiest, and cheapest whore I have ever seen. They just enjoy sneering at someone who can't seem to support himself, and what do I have to say in response? "Respect your elders!"

The Whore laughs at me, if laughing is what you can call it. If you've ever stepped on a rat, you'd know the squeaks it makes. Larxene sounds like that. She doesn't look so much like a rat as she looks like a cockroach (ha-ha, _cock_roach; she's sucked her fair share, I'm sure), but she sure as hell sounds similar to one of those disgusting vermin. Axel snaps back with a, "At least I'm not senile. Maybe that's why Marluxia doesn't fuck you anymore, you old hag." Larxene laughs harder. That bitch laughs at anything Axel said right now. Without Xigbar or Luxord--her usual customers--she had taken to Axel. She laughs at every little joke he makes, even if it isn't funny.

"You--You!!" I don't even know how to respond to Axel. My brain just can't come up with anything, and even then it would only involve something about him and his little cunt. I should have called Larxene a cunt to his face; it may have done something, but I couldn't function at that moment. I just stand there stuttering while Larxene's stupid banshee squeals echoes across the room. Fortunately for me, someone cuts her off.

"Enough," barks a bass voice. Unfortunately, it belonged to Marluxia, who took his dramatic entrance at that exact moment. I'm pretty sure it was to spite me for everything. He does the stupid flower thing and strides over to me with the grace of a princess. "Oh, Vexxie," he coos, using the same tone and nickname Larxene uses, "why so upset, darling?"

The Cockroach guffaws. I swear I even heard Axel chuckle. It doesn't really help the nervous breakdown I'm having right now. If I had a heart, I'd probably be sobbing and convulsing by now. With a squeak in my voice, I manage to snap back, "Because of that stupid cunt and the weasel and Xemnas--"

Marluxia cuts me off with the extraction of his scythe, but it is Larxene that speaks. "Cunt?!" snaps the vermin. "You'd better be talking about yourself, manwhore! If your little boyfriend wasn't here right now, you'd be a gelding!"

"And you'd be sucking the detached genitals," drones Marluxia. Apparently, no one was spared from his harsh remarks, me included. I didn't hear another word from Larxene. This was good, because Marluxia started talking. "Now Vexen," he said with the tone of voice you would use with a three-year-old or a stroke victim, "you know very well what Xemnas will think of your little failure. I could tell him--"

"No!" My voice has cracked now. Axel snickers, though stops when Marlxuia glares at him. I went on, not caring that Marluxia would probably cut me off. "P-p-please! Don't do that to me!" I want to throw myself on my knees and sob into his cloak and beg him to lie to me. Beg him to pretend he loved me. Beg him to not do this to me. I couldn't though, at least not with Axel and Larxene watching. But then I would be lying, too. And he would kill me either way.

He smiles the way he did when he and I were bed companions, though his eyes are different. They squint slightly, as if he is really _enjoying _my suffering. He puts away his scythe in a shower of petals. I swear I'll never forget what he said next. "You be glad I've slept with you, or you'd be dead right now." My God, my God, my_ God_! He _knows_ what I was doing. He only takes pity because he had seen me naked. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or even more stressed. And then he says, "Kill Sora."

I freeze. I try to protest, but Axel is faster than me. "That's suicide!" he barks. "And think of what will happen to Roxas!" Larxene scoffs and Axel rephrases his previous statement. "More importantly, think of what will happen to you!"

"If Vexen does not comply," Marluxia says without hesitation, "it is insubordination." Marluxia turns. He's so secure in his little power seat that he'll turn his back to me. "If Vexen follows orders," he continues, "it is treason." His tone is cocky and arrogant. I want to grab him by his hair and yank all those pink strands out by their roots, but fear of being attacked by Axel, Larxene, and Marluxia all at once prevents me from doing so. "It's his choice," he concludes before throwing me a blank card over his shoulder. "A wild card. Make it interesting." He's gone in a blink.

I stare at the card, not sure what to do. Part of me says to tell Zexion. Another part says to screw Zexion, do as Marluxia says. The third wants me to act on impulse and carry on with the original plan. None of them sounded too pleasing, and all of them could end with either Xemnas's or Marluxia's wrath. Still, better Xemnas than Marluxia, and why let Zexion know? Zexion would probably deem me unworthy and send his precious little fuckbuddy to do it. I don't know why, maybe it was my pride, but I didn't want to be out-matched by Lexaeus. I appear on the floor of Oblivion. As expected, Sora greets me rudely, and whatever we talk about isn't really important. I basically give him the stupid card and tell him to meet me.

As I step onto the grass of the pretend world, I wish I had consulted Zexion. A sudden wave of nausea runs over me, and I suddenly know I am going to die. There's no question about it--_I am going to _die _here. _There would be no Kingdom Hearts for me. I'd never have a heart. I'd become nothing. I guess you can't say _die_, but to a Nobody it's all the same. It's like out "feelings"--they aren't real, but we call them that anyway. I don't care what Xemnas says. A death is a death, even if it's not real.

Sora comes as expected. He charges up to me, yelling my name. I smile at him, hoping my insecurities don't reach him. "Welcome, Sora. I shall now tell you the truth." Logic escapes me. I'm cracked at the moment, and I don't give a fuck if Marluxia comes down from the heaven and executes me himself. In fact, if Sora pulls a gun I still wouldn't run. I'm going to die, no matter what I do, so why not fuck up everything Marluxia is trying to do and take a shit on my lover's master plan while I go down? He can only kill me once, and that's the worst thing he can do to me.

"What truth?!" snaps the juvenile with no real tact. Naminè has poisoned his memory so much that all he cares about is her. I can't blame the poor girl--she, like me, is a puppet in Marluxia's game. The only difference is that she's doing as he says and he actually has a use for her.

"How real is this town to you?" I ask, extending a hand. I'm surprised that Flower Boy hasn't shown up. Maybe they don't care what I'm doing. Maybe he hopes Sora'll stab me and shut me up. After all, I'm an old geezer. Sora whooped Larxene, so sure he could take me down. Apparently Marluxia forgot how weak Larxene is.

"It's..." The boy's voice falters. I see intelligence behind his innocent blue eyes. _What's he doing here? _I think. _He has people that love him, he shouldn't be here. _He then speaks with a decided answer, "It's familiar, but I don't know it..."

"Like Naminè," I reply dryly. I smirk, certain he's going to see where I am gesturing at. He doesn't know what Naminè really is, and it's about time someone told him. Why not me? I was a dead man either way. "She's familiar, but is not real to you."

Maybe I underestimated his intelligence or maybe Marluxia's doing a damn good job making Naminè tear up his memory. "No!" he cries. "Naminè is real to me! I _know_ her! This place is different..."

I scoff. No more subtle statements. This boy was too stupid to figure out what I'm pointing at. "Naminè is not real to you and never will be. She was never in your memory--God's sake, let me finish!" Sora had opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off. "If you keep going this way, you'll be Marluxia's heartless puppet--"

"Just like you, Vexen." The voice belonged to neither Sora nor I. One of Axel's spiked wheels--I know enough about ancient weapons to tell you that _thing_ is not a chakram--flew out of nowhere and struck me in the chest. I flew backwards, hitting the mansion's gate hard. Axel stepped forward, smirking. "Marluxia sends his love. Remember to respect your elders when you're in hell!"

"Ich sehe Sie in der Hölle," I growl. He stares at me. I smirk, knowing he doesn't speak German at all. Then he kills me.

As I fade, what comes to mind is Marluxia laughing wickedly over my death. I guess I've made it to the top of the hill. Hello, everyone! The flower doesn't grant immortality! All it does is give death! I have seen the true Marluxia. He's cruel beyond all imagination. I doubt there is a good bone in his body.

The ironic thing is that I could love him, if only I had a heart. Crazy, fucked-up world, en't it? I grin, then kiss his laughing face and die.

--»la fin«--

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**I changed the last line--thank you, reviewer! "Ich sehe Sie in der Hölle" translates to "See you in hell." Thanks much, reviewer .**

**Take it as you like. If you're a real fluff-whore, you can tell yourself that deep down, Marluxia loved poor Vexen back. You can even say that it wasn't the real Marluxia. I don't care. I hope you enjoyed reading it.**

**If I get one flame for the language, I'm going to have to ask you to take the two-foot stick out of your ass. I gave warning at the beginning. As for yaoi flames, if you're that fucking dumb to read something that says MarluxiaxVexen in the summary, I may have to ask you to take the IQ test. Have a nice day.**


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